He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
