Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
