Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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