There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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