I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
