I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
