It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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