And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
