So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
