also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
