he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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