the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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