Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
two words...techno handjob
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
