Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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