That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
