so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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