Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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