dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
