I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
