Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
