she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
