Can Purell be used as lube?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
