i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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