Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
