I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
