So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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