Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
