I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
