pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
