wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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