if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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