i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
is wine microwaveable?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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