Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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