the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
