Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
