she was so not down for the gang bang
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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