I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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