Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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