id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
All the doctor said was why
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
