I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
