Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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