I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
