What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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