Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
