You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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