3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
