How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
