Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
