I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
