you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
