I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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