he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
