I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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