im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
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